Let’s begin with something you’ve probably heard.

Maybe you’ve even said it yourself:

“I’m just speaking my truth.”

It sounds empowering. Courageous, even. A kind of spiritual mic drop. It signals authenticity, confidence, and emotional depth. And in many ways, that’s exactly what it’s meant to do.

But for all its popularity in personal development, coaching, and conscious communication circles, this phrase often does something sneaky.

It creates disconnection. It confuses subjectivity with reality. And ironically, it can block the very intimacy it hopes to invite.

Why “My Truth” Feels So Right

First, let’s acknowledge this: using the phrase “my truth” often comes from a good place.

Most of us were not raised in environments where emotional honesty was encouraged. We learned to be quiet. To keep the peace. To avoid rocking the boat.

So when we finally find our voice, when we finally begin to speak from the heart, there is something liberating about claiming ownership of our experience.

In that context, saying “my truth” feels like an act of emotional bravery.

But that bravery, if not clarified, can also become a shield. One that unintentionally shuts people out.

What’s Actually Going Wrong When We Say It

There is a subtle but powerful distinction that often gets overlooked:

Truth refers to objective reality. It is factual, verifiable, and independent of emotion.
“My truth” refers to our personal interpretation… our feelings, thoughts, sensations, and the meaning we assign to them.

When these two get mixed up, misunderstandings are almost guaranteed.

Let’s look at why.

You’re Presenting a Personal Story as Objective Reality

Imagine someone says:

“My truth is you abandoned me.”

It might sound emotionally honest. But it’s not quite that.

“Abandonment” isn’t a feeling. It’s a label. A conclusion. A story the mind created to explain a painful moment.

The actual truth might sound more like:

“When I didn’t hear from you, I felt scared and alone.”

That’s vulnerable. That’s open. That leaves room for connection.

When we say “my truth,” we often think we’re sharing a feeling, but we’re actually sharing a judgment wrapped in emotion. That makes it harder for others to stay in the conversation without becoming defensive.

It Can Shut Down Dialogue Instead of Opening It

There’s an implied rule when someone says “my truth”:

“This isn’t up for discussion.”

And once something is declared as absolute, even if it’s prefaced by “my,” it leaves little room for the other person to share their experience.

This doesn’t mean your perspective is invalid. But when it’s framed as irrefutable, it often feels more like a verdict than an invitation.

Genuine connection requires curiosity. And curiosity cannot survive in a room where one person has already declared the final word.

It Turns Temporary States Into Fixed Identity

Emotions are meant to move. They come and go. But when we start identifying with our interpretations of those emotions, we solidify them into a personal narrative.

Instead of saying,

“I noticed I felt anxious when I didn’t get a response from you,”
we say,
“My truth is I was rejected.”

Now we’re not just experiencing rejection… we’re becoming someone who is always being rejected. We begin to see ourselves through that lens, and everything that follows gets filtered through it.

Over time, these identity statements can quietly limit our emotional flexibility, our capacity for growth, and our ability to see ourselves and others with fresh eyes.

The Deeper Risk: Emotional Distortion

In some cases, the phrase “my truth” can be used manipulatively. Often this is unconscious, learned through years of survival-based communication.

Someone with a strong narrative and emotional language can create what feels like a “reality distortion field.” Their version of events becomes so emotionally charged, so vividly expressed, that others begin to doubt their own experience.

This dynamic isn’t always malicious. But it can be deeply confusing, especially in close relationships.

Recognizing this pattern is essential. We must learn to speak clearly about what we feel, without blurring the line between feeling and fact.

What to Say Instead

So if “my truth” isn’t helpful, what is?

Here are a few examples of language that fosters emotional clarity and connection:

• “Here’s what I experienced.”
• “The story I told myself in that moment was…”
• “When that happened, I felt [specific emotion], and I noticed a part of me assumed…”

This kind of language invites others into your experience without making them responsible for it.

It keeps your emotions yours, while still allowing space for dialogue and mutual understanding.

It’s not about filtering yourself. It’s about expressing with precision, not protection.

A Crucial Shift in Perspective

It’s worth saying again: using the phrase “my truth” isn’t wrong.

In fact, for many people, it marks a powerful turning point. A reclaiming of voice and inner authority.

But it is a stage, not a final destination.

Emotional maturity asks us to evolve our language as we evolve our awareness. And that means learning to express our experience in ways that deepen connection rather than defend identity.

We can be real. We can be vulnerable. We can be expressive.

And we can do it in a way that brings us closer to others rather than pushing them away.

Speak in High Definition

When you describe your emotions with clarity, when you separate what you felt from what you interpreted, you create space for real intimacy.

You’re not just unloading your experience. You’re sharing it in a way that allows others to understand, respond, and connect.

And that’s what most of us want.

We don’t just want to be heard.
We want to be known.

To get there, we have to move beyond vague declarations.
We have to speak in high definition.

Because here’s the truth:

Vague language leads to vague relationships.
Precision creates connection.

Let that be your new truth.

-Mike Bledsoe